Hey everyone!,
Autumn is my absolute favorite season! Things here in Massachusetts are just getting good with temperatures dropping and leaves turning colorful. In the spirit of boots and pumpkin spice, I wanted to share a quick list of 5 simple pastimes we enjoy during this time of year.
Today is my daughter’s first day of school and to kick off the academic year right I created a free 5 day Back to School mini devotional! Since many kids have already returned to school or start mid-week like mine, this devotional is made for Monday-Friday. It’s never too late to begin!
“The dog days of summer have come to an end and the cool autumn winds carry with them with them a new school year. Whether we home school or send our kiddos on their way each day, households with school aged kids have to adjust and settle back into the school year routine.
I think parents and kids alike could use some encouragement to help us ease into the new academic year confidently and prayerfully. I hope that this 5 day mini-devotional will help you to do just that!”
Click the link to get started and have an amazing year!
Free Back to School Devotional!
❤ Cait
At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven -Matthew 18:1-4
Oh, to have faith and trust in the Lord like my child trusts in me. When my 1 year old stumbles and falls she doesn’t hesitate to get up and run to me.
When she is weary she seeks me for comfort, knowing I will take her into my arms to rock her to sleep.
When she looks up at me, her stubby hand out and says “Cracker?” she doesn’t doubt that I will feed her.
She doesn’t question where it will come from but instead waits expectantly, her doe eyes fixed on me in joyful anticipation.
She never questions if I love her, she just runs to me, climbing me like a tree to wrap her little arms around my neck and kiss my cheek.
She doesn’t question if she’s safe because she knows I faithfully care for her each day. She doesn’t wonder if I will be with her because I watch over her, constant as the sky.
She can’t speak to me with eloquence but, I know she adores me with barely a word.
And all I am is an imperfect mother how much more than does our perfect Father in Heaven deserve our trust and confidence in him?
Just look at these precious children! The other day I had a small break down just thinking about bringing another person into existence and all that it entails. It is up to me to teach, guide, and protect them in a world full of danger, heartbreak, and harsh realities.
I just want to do the best that I can for them and although I’ve been a mother for years at times I still struggle with my confidence.
When I had my oldest daughter I was only 18 and I dealt with a lot of judgement because of that. People looked down their noses at me and doubted my ability to parent well due to my age.
I tried my best to turn that negativity into motivation. Even though writing has always been my passion, I felt I needed to pursue a more serious career (in a way to show people that I could be serious) and start making more money for myself ASAP.
I got myself through Medical Assistant school and kept that career until just a couple of years ago when I left work to stay home with my youngest. I enjoyed helping people and had a strong interest in medicine but I put my true passions on hold because of what other people might have thought.
As much as I tried to spin the judgement and shame and use it to my advantage I was still young and insecure and let it get to me. I became so defensive.
I didn’t want to hear the advice of other people and older mothers because I took it as them doubting my abilities. Even if it was coming from a loving place the advice felt hurtful and backhanded. I took it as an insult.
Just because I was young didn’t mean I didn’t love my daughter! It didn’t mean I couldn’t care for her well! She was all I had at a certain point and my world revolved around her. Just like older mothers everything I did was for her and about her and because of her.
When I was pregnant with my youngest daughter I had people giving me advice who didn’t realize that I had a daughter older than their own children.
Honestly it had been 9 years since I had an infant so of course I could have taken some advice from people who went through that stage with their children more recently! But I was still so damaged from all the scrutiny I dealt with in the past. Stubbornly, I didn’t want to hear what anyone had to say.
As I continue to grow into myself over the years I have become much more confident. I started to realize that myself and the people around me know the truth about what kind of mother I am. Knowing that allows me to care a lot less about what other people may think. I don’t need another’s approval to feel validated.
My defenses have completely dropped. I know that just because someone is older or younger it doesn’t necessarily make them better or worse equipped to be a parent.
I’m now able to take advice from others joyfully knowing that no matter how long someone’s been a parent or how many children they have we all can learn something from each other. Someone else’s motherhood doesn’t take away from my own! It only adds another perspective in our shared experience.
As women we should encourage and lift each other up! This womanhood and parenting stuff is really difficult as is so we don’t need to add any more stress by comparing ourselves! We all have something to learn from each other and at the end of the day we can all use more support!
Did you ever take well meaning advice the wrong way? How did you deal with it?
❤ Cait
Dear Autumn,
I can’t believe its been 10 whole years since you entered this world! When you did you brightened the lives of everyone around you. At home it was “The Autumn Show” every day. You were an extraordinarily gorgeous and happy baby. Everything about you was unique and beautiful and we couldn’t wait to see what you’d do next!
You were the sunshine in my days. I worked so hard and fought so hard to be the best mother I could for you. Your Step Father and I have dedicated our lives to providing for you and making you smile. You repay us daily with your love. We are so proud of who you are. You’re funny and sarcastic, sweet and tough, confident but humble, stubborn and kind. You are as colorful and bright as the season for which you are named. You are a daughter, the BEST big sister, an artist, a philanthropist, an author, an athlete, a friend.
And this is only the beginning. I know God has amazing plans for you. In the next 10 years of your life we will watch you grow into a young lady. We will watch as you take wing. But please remember no matter where life’s journey takes you there will always be a place in our hearts and home for you and you can always come back to it.
💗No matter how big you get, you will always fit perfectly in my arms.💗
Love Always,
Mom
This was written back in February and shared on my personal Facebook page. Our healthy, gorgeous baby girl was born May 31st, 2016.
So I try to keep a brave face but, I know you’ve all heard my complaints…This pregnancy hasn’t been all sunshine and daisy chains for me. My baby and myself are in perfect health but most of the time I have felt sick, exhausted and uncomfortable. Some days I don’t know how I’ll make it through the time I still have left. I never had that feel-good second trimester. Spending so much time in my bed (which I have dubbed my cave) can make me feel frustrated, isolated and lonely. And I don’t think I ever did get that glow! 😕
I get so excited when I can do things that make me feel normal. Even little things like a light walk, a lunch date, or a good hair day resemble my pre-pregnancy life and make all the difference to me! Even now as I look forward to my last trimester I have good and bad days but honestly, most are still pretty rough.
Despite these hurdles, the miracle of the life stirring within is never lost on me even for a moment. How awesome it is to anticipate the love my husband and I share personified in a cherished child. How my heart swells as he talks to her and melts when he says he hopes she looks like me. Seeing the way my daughter touches my belly adoringly and hearing the questions that bubble up in her inquisitive mind is so special. Even my cat purrs happily in my lap against the extra warmth of my body. This baby will be born into so much love and that alone is worth every difficult moment.
Even when it gets hard I remind myself to be present and enjoy this fleeting season of life instead of just wishing it away. I truly believe that pregnancy is designed like this for a reason. It prepares mothers to raise their children by offering experiences of sacrifice, joy, worry, and unconditional love from the moment of conception.
The opportunity to assist God in the creation of a new life and soul is truly humbling and such a gift. Pregnancy and motherhood is an incredible journey and one I feel so blessed to be able to continue. I feel like my dreams keep coming true and I know in my heart that the best is yet to come.
Have you experienced a particularly difficult time in pregnancy? Tell me about it in the comments!
❤ Cait
A year ago today a test confirmed what I already knew in my heart and tender tummy to be true, I was expecting a baby again after 9 years! In that moment so many thoughts and emotions swirled around me. I looked through happy tears at the blurry image of my proud husband’s face and he said, “We’re having a baby! There’s going to be a crib in here soon!” and I thought back to a daydream.
I was driving to pick up my eldest daughter after a particularly long and exhausting work day. At this time I was working full-time, taking classes at community college part-time and planning my wedding (I tend to be anxious and not very organized sometimes!) and I was just stressed and exhausted with the go-go-go pace I had been keeping up for far too long. As I drove along my heart projected sweet visions on the walls of my mind..
Rocking my husband’s first child in the quiet morning light, breathing in that heady baby aroma, bird serenades carried in on the breeze of an open window, essential coffee smell mixing in from the kitchen. I snapped back to reality and immediately my attention was captured by a rainbow of color in the sky just ahead of me. Tucked among the usual white was a bright iridescent cloud! Rainbows have been significant to me in my spiritual life and it was as if God was reassuring me, reminding me that He knows the desires of my heart. That small passing brilliance, was to me the gentlest reminder to be patient and trust in His perfect timing.
After a wedding and one tough pregnancy the visions of my heart have come to fruition. Our baby daughter has changed our family for the better. Our hearts and arms are fuller because of her. Ten years with my first precious daughter went too quickly! I have learned that time can be hard on a mama’s heart. That knowing reminds me to savor each moment that much more. Even in the mess and stress, my mundane life is made magic in joy inexpressible and love unconditional.
When I mention the age difference between my girls sometimes people take on an exasperated tone and poke fun at me saying, “Wow! Starting all over again, huh?” and I say yes and my soul laughs as the smile in my heart blooms across my face.
Do any of you have a big age difference between your children? If so tell me about it in the comments!
❤ Cait
Prayers Over The Kitchen Sink 