Update: This series was delayed due to the loss of my grandfather (you can read more about this here and on my Instagram page.) Thank you for all of your prayers, condolences and well wishes! I’m grateful for you. ❤ Cait
With busy schedules, lots of stress and lots of mess, its easy to let our homes become a hub of disarray. When we find ourselves discouraged, bitter or overwhelmed, how can we find our way back to the meaning and beauty hidden in the daily grind?
I could go into chore charts and scheduling but, if I’m being honest, it’s not my forte (like, at all!). Instead I’ll share the little things I do to help me reset, refresh and reclaim the joy of homemaking in a big way!
When people hear the term homemaking they usually think of a stay-at-home mom. Being a work-from-home mama myself, I know for certain that the two go hand in hand! But, home making is not limited to those whose life’s work takes place within their own four walls. Anyone who has a place to live owes it to themselves (& all who dwell there) to make it a home!
Until recently, it seemed that the titles of homemaker and stay-at-home mom carried negative connotations; the work done behind closed doors underestimated or undervalued. But, with more people working and spending leisure time at home than ever before due to the Corona Virus pandemic, the question of “What do you do all day?” seems to have answered itself!
Be Your Own Manager
Because you aren’t necessarily getting the same validation from keeping a home as you would from say a paycheck or a GPA, it can be easy to lose sight of your progress and your goals.
Instead of money and grades, look to your surroundings, yourself and your family as a barometer. Is your home a place that is functional? Does it offer you places for work and leisure? Does it reflect your personal style? Does it serve as a reprieve for your family at the end of a long day?
Answering these questions will help you to see which areas might need tweaking to reclaim your joy.
Vocation Over Occupation
If you’re doing it well, home making is challenging. It involves cleaning, appointments, errands, meetings, needs that are endless and tasks that keep repeating. You tidy the playroom and the kids immediately dump their toys. You unload the dishwasher and the sink fills again within hours. You sweep and mop just so milk can splash across your once-clean floor.
When I start to feel dissatisfied with another un-eaten dinner, half-finished project or mountain of laundry staring me down, I’m tempted to grumble and think,
“What’s the point?”
If I’m not careful, I can let these thoughts fester and turn to anger or even resentment. I’ve learned to nip these feelings of futility in the bud by remembering how important this work truly is. Not only to my family but to the world and most importantly, the Lord. What I do isn’t significant because I’m the best at it or because no one else can do these things, but because it is meant for me to do.
Regardless of passions, goals and roles in my life, my primary function and means of sanctification will be my duty as a wife and mother. My vocation today needs to be my main focus and motivation. If I realize all of my ambitions for the future that is great but what’s most important is where God has me right now! How I love those I serve, steward my blessings and live the present moment.
Create a Sacred Space
This next tip that has saved my sanity more than once! Create a sacred space. Set aside a room or quiet corner of your home that serves as a quick escape throughout your day. Clean this area first-thing in the morning and try to scoot the children out if you’re not there yourself.
Since daytime isn’t ideal for long baths or uninterrupted reading, simple, striking things work best. Include décor you enjoy and things that relax you as soon as you enter. For me this is usually the master bedroom, which means it’s a place that my husband can take a breather as well. It’s a place that feels like its just ours in a home where everything is shared. Whether it’s a freshly made bed, a window view, calming music or a piece of art, a place to find some peace and take a breath is something all homemakers need. Don’t forget to take care of you, as you care for your surroundings!
Reset and refresh
When we look at homemaking through a bitter eye, we forget that it’s an art! One way to keep that thought in the forefront of my mind is to refresh and reset often. I don’t just mean organization (though the more of that, the better!) but daily routines and seasonal changes that keep things interesting.
I change tablecloths and linens regularly, swap out heavy winter curtains for lighter ones in the spring, use seasonal décor that’s easy to switch out and use each season like throw pillows or wreaths on your door. My go-to for keeping things fresh day to day are vases of flowers and flickering candles at night. There is something about pulling back the curtains first thing in the morning to let the sunshine in and the warmth of candle light in the night that bookends the day so nicely.
That’s what home is all about, little comforts, small respites and rewards that all notice and appreciate (whether they tell you directly or not!). Creating a dwelling that you and your loved ones truly enjoy is so fulfilling. As the heart of our homes, we set the tone. The ability to transform a space, guide the day and create an environment that reflects who you are as a family is a wonderful thing!
It’s how you live
I’ve heard it said that when it comes to home life, it’s not what you have but, how you live. If we love something, we will purchase it but as a young family of five, we try to limit unnecessary spending.
Until recently, all of our furniture and most of our décor had been second or even third hand (Shout out to my Dad for generously gifting us bedroom furniture this past Christmas). Most of the time no one would guess, because we use the best of what we have and try to care well for it.
When it comes to furniture, I truly believe that less is more. Less surfaces make for far less clutter to keep up with and a little floor space goes a long way visually. Being choosy about the pieces in our home makes us more likely to opt for ones we really find functional or charming.
At our place, we do our best not to keep junk around but I do get creative when needed. I’ll put a framed photo over that nick in the drywall, and use pretty blankets to cover the hole in the family room sofa. I repaint lots of furniture and repurpose what I can. Sometimes, rearranging our old stuff makes it look brand new and inspires new appreciation for what we already own. When we detach from the idea of a perfect home, we free ourselves to take pride in the one we have.
Teach your children well
Lighten up, Mama! Do your future self a favor and let the kiddos help. Older children should have greater responsibilities but, everyone can pitch in somehow. My 4-year-old daughter likes to help me fold the laundry and my 2-year-old loves to “dust” with a damp cloth. It may mean I have to re fold those towels or wipe the coffee table a second time, but that’s really not the point!
Passing your homemaking skills down to your children and praising them for their efforts can be a fun time for boding, conversation and making memories. Accomplishing small tasks builds confidence and being responsible for their own messes begets accountability. Teaching children to clean is part of preparing them for an independent life and framing chores as a natural part of every day means less resistance to household duties when their older. My hope is that my patience with my kids now will benefit us all in the long run.
Let the dishes wait
If you can’t always keep up, it only means that you’re succeeding! Homemaking is not a contest to see who’s can be cleaner or prettier or more organized. No, the home serves a much deeper purpose as the very foundation of family life. All of your attention and effort within it serve an ultimate goal: to create a safe and comfortable place for your family to live. Don’t get so caught up in doing that you miss out on the moments that matter.
I can’t say it any better than Ruth Hulburt Hamilton in her poem Song for a Fifth Child. Let these word encourage you on the days you just can’t seem to do it all.
Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
~ Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
What helps you reclaim joy in your home? Share the hacks and habits that work for you in the comments!